Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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