Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
