Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
