i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
