HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
