break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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