i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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