That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
