So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
