So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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