He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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