wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
