someone get that fucking seahorse.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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