I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
