end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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