so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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