the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
