what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
