I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
