You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
