I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
