If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
