LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
