I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
