I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
