Someone shit on the floor
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
