God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They took my balls.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
