i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
