We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
