I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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