i permit you to call me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
