the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
