Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This is the high leading the old right now
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
