Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
