I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
