They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
