Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i believe in u and ur pee
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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