k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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