when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
