Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my being single is dangerous.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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