How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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