Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
