Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
