You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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