Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
