Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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