I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
