sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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