We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
sex in a hospital.. check
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
