he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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