Welp...herpes.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
